1/21/2007

Opening Lines, Pinky Probes, and L-Bombs

Opening Lines, Pinky Probes, and L-Bombs:
The Girls & Sports Dating and Relationship Playbook

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Every so often (read: NEVER) I am contacted by an author who wants me to review their book on my site. Even though relationship books for the most part are garbage (wait-- you're telling me males and females differ??), I obviously reply with the standard "Free book? Okay." Because c'mon -- free book.

So call me LeVar Burton, because I'm about to get all Reading Rainbow on your ass.

I can't say I've ever actually read any relationship manuals (ask my ex-girlfriends if you don't believe me), because I consider myself pretty good at understanding women. And by that, I'm referring to the three basics:

1) girls will always hate other girls for absolutely no reason
2) there is a strong correlation between good looks and increased insanity
3) the fact that most are just plain evil

As soon as you take these into account, the world will make much more sense.

Anyway, I received the book and then something weird happened: I read it! (It's full of illustrations/graphs/comics so it's not a huge task.) It covers pretty much everything regarding relationships, many through sports metaphors in case you're one of those people too busy planning your fantasy baseball team to talk to girls. Works for me...

Here are a few sample pages...

(Click to enlarge)

So check it out if you could use advice in ranking your girlfriend among your other friends, formulating a "game plan," answering the "how many people have you slept with?" question, or dealing with "Us" conversations.

Of course... you don't have to take my word for it! I'll see you next time.

posted by Jake K @ 6:45 PM

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Hi, I'm Jake. I attend Winona State University where I am a sociology major posing as a writer. I am currently in New York City, interning at CollegeHumor.com. This is where I write things that make family members ashamed to be related to me.

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